Korie's Story

Korie’s story is our whole family’s story. It is a hard story to tell. Not because it is a sad story or a difficult one but because it is a story only our family could understand. It is one of those “you had to be there” stories. That is the only way in which you could truly know what it is like to have a child who is handicapped. There are no words to explain it. It would be too difficult of a “read” to go into great detail of the many dark days that we experienced…and there WERE many. I don’t know that they need to be told. I would be happy to tell anyone who asks details…it isn’t that I can’t talk about it. But I think the most important thing to take away from a story like ours, isn’t all the gory details but how the story ends….the ending that is at times hard to “keep in mind”, but one that we know in our hearts….for it is a story that has already been told. It ends happily and perfectly and we can’t wait for it to get here…..the day Korie has a perfect body and perfect mind and she can worship God for all He truly is and all He has truly done. Keeping that in mind…this is Korie’s story.

Chapter One

Our family was like any new family. Steve taught and coached. I taught a few hours in the mornings and picked up 2 year old, Kristin, from a friend’s house on the way home. We were expecting another baby and an ultra sound was planned for the next doctor’s visit. We were the typical struggling, but happy, Christian family.

Our world took a drastic change at that doctor’s visit that chilly November afternoon. As we anticipated a surprise visit for Thanksgiving from my brother…married to Steve’s sister...and the happy days ahead for cousins, Judson and Kristin, we entered the ultra sound room, grandmother in tow, ready to see a glimpse of the new Fletcher baby due in April.

Not five minutes into the test, we could tell something was not right. The technician got quiet and kept trying to take pictures of the baby. Concerned, we started asking questions but she would only tell us that a doctor would have to call us and discuss a problem that she could possibly see on the ultra sound.

A little stunned, we gathered our things and endured a quiet trip home. That evening, we got a call from Dr. Yeatts about a problem showing up in the spinal area of the baby. He said we needed to go to an appointment he had set up at our hospital to speak to a genetic counselor so we would know what we were dealing with. The appointment was the next day, the day before Thanksgiving. We tried to sleep as we wondered what we would hear.

I will have to admit that this particular day, talking to this counselor, was probably the worst day of our lives. I could write a whole book on what occurred on this day but I will try to sum it up in a few paragraphs instead.

The genetic counselor told us our baby had spina bifida. I did not recognize the term. She explained to us that on the 14th day after conception, the day the spinal chord develops, instead of the chord rounding as it should, to protect the nerves, it stopped at a certain point. Here, the chord remained open and all the nerves at that point and below, were forever damaged. This is why each spina bifida person is different, because it all depends on WHERE the defect is, as to what damage there will be. In other words, the LOWER the defect, the less damage there will be. The higher the defect, the more problems there are.

She also told us that spina bifida could be only ONE of the problems the baby had…it could have other things wrong…or the baby could die before, during or after birth because of the complications.

Now, this is NOT what made the day so difficult although I would be wrong if I said that this information was one of the most difficult things we had heard and had to accept. The hard part was what followed….she went on to tell us that we did not have to accept all these difficulties…that we had a “choice” in the matter, even though I was already more than 5 months along in the pregnancy.

Right away, we told her that for us, there was no choice. We tried to explain that we believe God makes no mistakes and it was not our place to try to “start over” or get rid of this baby. Instead of accepting our answer, she tried to “explain” that our “religious beliefs” may make us feel guilty...but it didn’t take into account all that could be wrong with our baby. We then had to listen to a long list of “what could be” or “what ifs.” As we remained adamant, we were then sent to the main doctor of the Perinatal center and she again tried to explain to us our choices. It seemed to us that they were trying to make us feel “unloving or uncaring” to bring a baby with all these problems into the world. They then made us another appointment with a doctor in Norfolk who would give us more information so we would be better informed.

As they sent us back to the genetic counselor for more of the same, Steve put his foot down and told them that we had enough information and that we were all going to have to disagree. We would keep the appointment in Norfolk and come back to the counselor’s office for more information about spina bifida, but we were going home and this appointment was over!

I felt stunned and a little “beat up” as I went to the car. Tom and Sharron were due in that evening and Thanksgiving was tomorrow…how would we ever make it through the holiday? How would we make up our minds to be thankful after such a difficult day? Where was God? Why us? All these questions on the one day you are suppose to give thanks for all you are given.